Hate is too big a word to be used lightly. I really don’t hate things, I dislike things or food, even people. But, with all honesty, I hate parenting.
Now, hold your horses, and please hold off calling child services on me. I hate parenting but I do not hate being a mother. I love being a mom, I love my two sons. My boys are my world and I wouldn’t change where I am in life for anything in the world.
It is the parenting community which I hate. I still can’t understand how people think it is OK to be mean and mistreat other fellow parents. It just baffles me.
These are the things I hate about parenting:
Body part nicknames. This is such an American thing* which I still can’t grasp. Didn’t anyone pay attention during Biology? Why is there a dire need to call a freaking penis a pee-pee, or a wee-wee? Since when did the word penis become such a taboo? Oh, and don’t get me started on vaginas…I would rather have my daughter running around the park yelling vagina than vajayjay (which sounds pretty dumb in my humble opinion). A penis is a penis. A vagina, well, it is a vagina. Do we also need to start nicknaming toes and fingers?
Judgamental parents. I have never had anyone come up to me and judge me for whatever reason they felt necessary. I have, although, had two mothers make a snarky comment on how they don’t give their kids sugar, rolled their eyes at me, and leave. I have seen and heard countless stories of other mothers, nonetheless, judging other fellow moms for the way they are raising their kids. From breastfeeding to discipline, to whatever they could nick-pick on.
I didn’t have a hard time breastfeeding. My oldest weaned himself when he first tried apple juice when he was 8 months old. J, almost 3 (yikes) stopped after I got mastitis. But you won’t hear me going off on other mothers who choose to bottle feed or have opinions against breastfeeding. If a mother wants to breastfeed, good for her. If she wants to use formula, good for her. Why do you feel the need to get in their business and give them a lesson on what they are doing wrong? Shouldn’t you go back to rising your own child, who probably is making a mess with the baby powder or eating the dog food? Shouldn’t you be more attentive to what you are doing wrong instead of trying to make yourself feel better about what you are doing right? You have no freaking clue what others are going through…maybe the mother who couldn’t breastfeed had breast cancer and simply can’t do it. Maybe she tried for countless weeks but she didn’t produce any milk. Maybe she is an adoptive mother, or a step mother.
Does breastfeeding equal mother? Did I miss something?
This could go on and on…and don’t even get me started on that stupid Times article. I am mom enough because I love and care about my children, not because I let them drink from my boob. If that is what motherhood is all about to you, then I feel so sorry for you.
Show and tell. I can’t stand when people feel the need to show off how awesome their kids are. From what they wear (do they even realize that a freaking shirt their kids will wear at least twice, if they are lucky not to stain it in the first 5 minutes of wear, costs no less than $25), to what they eat (“I don’t give sugar to my kids” blah blah blah, well I do, so what?!), to sleeping schedules and potty training adventures. If your kid is so freaking awesome kudos, good for you! Mine is probably better than yours but you don’t see me shoving this fact on your face, now do you? I would rather enjoy my awesome kid that listen to you brag about yours. You still want to give it a go? Well, get ready to listen to me talk about how my boys skipped crawling and started walking at 9 months. Or that they can jump off the playground without cracking their heads open, or how about how much they love to tackle each other, or the fact that my oldest son has such a mean arm that he could easily be the best QB of their generation. Or how about the countless poop, booger, and many other gross stories and jokes I can share?! No? Didn’t think so.
Celebrities thinking they are awesome parents because they are famous. Giselle Bundchen and Amanda Peet (and Gwyneth too), please shut up! There is no freaking way that your child was potty trained at 6 months of age. It is not biologically possible. Why? Well, that thing that holds the pee, you know, the bladder, is not strong enough to hold pee at 6 months of age. Gosh, not even at age 2 is that freaking muscle that strong! So shush! And Miss/Mrs (I dunno) Peet, do you really think I am a parasite for not vaccinating my kids? Well, think of it this way: if there is a measles epidemic and your kid has all her shots up to date, who do you think will get sick? My kid. Plus, if you are OK with filling your kid’s developing bodies with viruses (both dead and alive) then go for it, your decision, please let me make mine. So, please give yourself a pat on the back and put a penny in your “Good Mom Jar”. I don’t call you names for being such a lame actress, now do I? And Gwyneth…well, she is on a league of her own.
What aspects of the parenting community annoy you the most?
* I was born and rasied in Mexico where a penis and a vagina are called just that. We don’t nickname body parts (at least not where I grew up, Guadalajara).