To Spank or Not To Spank?

By Tuesday, August 10, 2010 7 No tags Permalink 0

Spanking. The never-ending debate between parents. Some swear by spanking and look down at people who do not follow their belief. Those opposed to spanking think this makes them better parents. (Not pointing fingers. This is a generalization)**

In my opinion, and after reading all of your comments (which I am grateful for) I’ve come to the conclusion:

To each their own.

Not because I have occasionally spanked my son makes me a bad parent. Spanking in anger makes you a bad one. Yet, not setting boundaries and discipline is also bad for kids. They need to learn how to respect others. They need to know that bad behavior has its consequences. If you do not want to spank your kids there are some other alternatives:

Call time outs. This way your child will be isolated and will have time to think of what s/he did wrong. Don’t cave in to the crying. Make sure there is nothing around that can distract him. Always use the same spot for a a time out. After time’s up, make sure to explain to your kid why s/he was on time out. (1 minute per year)
Explain the consequences of bad behavior. Let your child know “there are consequences to their negative actions”.

And for those who believe that spanking is a good form of discipline:

NON-ABUSIVE SPANKING

    • Never spank a child in anger.
    • Never spank a child in front of others or with the intention of humiliating or embarrassing that child.
    • Avoid multiple spankings.
    • Reserve the punishment for serious offenses.
    • Explain what misbehavior led to the spanking.

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** Meant to be a generalization, like saying all men are jerks.
** If this post offended anyone, I apologize. This is my own opinion on the matter. If you have something to say leave me a comment. Please don’t waste your time on leaving hate comments, they will only crack me up!

1. Call time outs. In a time-out, a child is safely isolated from her family or peers for short periods of time — generally a minute for each year of age. This gives her time to cool off.

Example: If your child gets angry with another child, put your child in her playpen or send her to her room. After the time-out, you and your child can discuss solutions to the problem that just occurred.

2. Illustrate the consequences of bad behavior. The best way to let a child know she’s done something wrong is to make the point that undesirable acts can often have undesirable results.

Example: If you can’t get your child to clean up her room, remove every toy she’s left on the floor until there’s precious little left to play with. Just be sure your child is old enough to understand the connection between her action and the punishment.

3. Treat chronic problems in a variety of ways. Changing the way you handle a recurring problem can work wonders.

7 Comments
  • veronica lee
    August 11, 2010

    I am a true believer of the “spare the rod and spoil the child” saying. I’ve tried reasoning, time-out, penalties, bribes etc but nothing works. All I need is just to wave the cane (just to scare) and my boys will ‘obey’ pronto.

    I think it really depends on the child. Some kids are just impossible! My dad caned me until I was 16 and I turned out right!! LOL!

  • Des
    August 11, 2010

    Thank You for visiting my blog! 🙂 I haven’t really made up my mind on the spanking aspect …we play the “good cop,bad cop” with my husband! I also grew up being spanked, and I remembered that they were sort of reasonable occasions (that’s probably a good thing, because I was aware of misbehaving)…and I grew up just fine! 🙂

    My problem was I tend to shout, so my husband tells me that I’m all bark, no bite! When I was still employed, I sort of spoiled my son (too much), probably just to make up for the time that I wasn’t there & in order to discipline him, I’ll tell my son that I will tell his daddy…I ended up being frustrated!… but since I started staying at home, I sort of got the hang of it…just looking at him (sort of rolling my eyes) and doing some reverse psychology, me & my son are just getting by now…also I sort of avoid/minimize shouting so as to have an impact on the times that it’s needed & warranted…it’s about controlling my temper! 🙂 …at times that he gets scolded at, I made sure that I explained to him what’s it about! 🙂

    • Sofia
      August 11, 2010

      I tend to shout too! But reading all your comments about spanking has helped me to focus and not be so harsh on my boy.
      Thanks for your intake 😉

  • Leigh
    August 11, 2010

    My dad used to use his belt on us, for even minor things, so I’ve never been a spanker. I have an even more effective way for my children: “Do I have to call your father?” It works like a dream for us. (no he doesn’t spank them either, they just seem to find him scarier than me.)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday as a new follower, I’m returning the favor. I look forward to getting to know you and your blog better!

  • Mormon Surrogate
    August 11, 2010

    I think your views on spanking are great!

    When I was new to being a mom-I used to be a spanker and it just made things 10 times worse. It’s been awhile, but the memories stay with the kids.
    🙁

    • Sofia
      August 11, 2010

      I’m pretty sure your kids will grow up just fine! My husband was spanked as a kid and he always gives his mom a hard time about it simply for the fun of it! I doubt they’ll remember unless there was a time they got spanked in public and they felt embarrassed about it.
      thanks for stopping by my blog!

  • Faith
    August 13, 2010

    Goo for you for writing this post. Spanking is such a divisive issue and it takes guts to even bring it up. 🙂 I think it is important to have multiple discipline solutions, one solution never works across the board.